Can't Live Anymore
by Animation Universe 2005
Summary: Mikey is in a suicide-mode after the events occured from 'TMNT', which also occurs everything happened before and after Leo left to Central America. Hopefully, this one will be a good one. Please enjoy it!
1. Depression

This fic has been on the back of my mind for some time and I decided to release it. The main character is, Mikey, of course and I wanted it to be an angsty, dramatic, kinda sucidial moment for Mikey, after all the events that occured on 'TMNT'. Hope you guys like it.

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Can't Live Anymore

by: Terrell James

Chapter 1: Depression

6:45 A.M.

Mikey was sitting in his bed in the dark, alone, thinking about every single moment that occured since Raph and Leo's fall-out and also, since Leo's departure to Central America a year ago, leaving behind his brothers. Mikey feels as though he was abandoned without any questions at all. Ever since that situation occured, it's like he could've done something to prevent them from splitting up, but he couldn't.

The radio was playing an emo song and all Mikey could do was listen to it, because all the silence has been too much for Mikey, because it reminded him of his brothers going their separate ways.

He sighs heavily and gets himself up, then he looks at the mirror and all he can see are dark circles around his eyes, like he hasn't been sleeping for weeks. He feels a deep resentment towards Leo and Raph fighting with each other and wishes that both of them would just shut up and get at each other's throats all the time.

He retreats back to his bed, then lays down and hides himself in the covers, just to get away from everybody or everything. Then, he heard a door knock and he groaned softly and asked, "What?"

"It's time to wake up, Mikey." Donny said.

Mikey groaned heavily and said, "It's too early, Donny."

Donny sighed heavily and said, "It's almost 7:00."

"Like I could care less...."

Then, an agitated Donny walks in the room and finds Mikey, but he saw nothing. All he can hear is the radio playing some emo rock and then, he noticed something moving around the bed. Donny sucked his lips and then, asked, "Mikey?"

Mikey groaned heavily and then, Donny went around the bed and pulled out the covers and sees a tired Mikey laying there. He asked, "Okay, Mikey. What's with you?"

Mikey turned to Donny and Donny became extremely startled by some dark circles around Mikey's eyes. He asked, "Have you been sleeping at all?"

"Can't sleep. Too depressed."

"About what? You're never depressed."

"I guess now is as good as time as any."

"What are you so depressed about?"

"Don't want to talk about it."

Then, Mikey turns himself away from Donny and then, Donny asked him, "IS this something that had to do with last year?"

There was silence. Mikey didn't respond and felt like he needed some space. Then, he asked Donny, "Can you please leave? I need to be alone."

"Can you at least give me an answer?"

Mikey sighed irritately and replied, "Yeah."

"That was last year and this is this year."

"Sometimes, it feels like last year."

Donny got up and decided to leave the room and then, turned to Mikey and asked, "Are you gonna be awake?"

Mikey let out a moan and then, Donny sighed heavily and left the room with the door closed. Then, Mikey shut off the radio and then, there was silence again. Every ounce of silence has been surrounded by the memories of last year and it has been taking his toll.

He got up out of bed, sat down on the front of the bed and lowered his head down and just sat there in the dark. It's like he's trying to keep the peace between him and his brothers and maybe, just maybe tried to talk some sense into his brothers.

Obviously, it feels like it's failing.

Mikey sighed heavily and then, he heard nothing but silence. It feels as though it's too much silence and he groaned frustratedly and turns on the radio again and they played this punk song that was filled with such angst and troublesome with moody, kinda like he is at this point.

Mikey could hear his heart beating and that it was beating slower and slower and he's been keeping himself away from everyone else for several weeks and he feels as if that no one could understand him more. As a peacemaking turtle he is, there was always this loss of innocence towards him and a full amount of sorrow when not being present towards his brothers, but keeps his personal sorrows away from his brothers and Splinter. The reason; taking the job being Cowabunga Carl for kids, which irriates him a lot. It took it's toll on Mikey the most, even while Leo wasn't around.

It seems as though he was losing the one thing that he's always held so close to; his childhood. He just couldn't accept the fact that he's growing up and that he feels a distance between the older brothers, whilst one was in Central America for a long time and feels as though Donny was the one that he relies on the most, but sometimes, different personalities can sometimes be separate.

With so much depression coming inside of him, he just didn't know if he could ever get used to the fact that Leo left behind his brothers for a full year and it seemed like the one he always looked up to, wasn't around the whole time and feeling like he never came back. He sighed heavily and that he's misunderstood when it comes to relying on his older brothers and he whispered to himself,

"Have you dudes seen my childhood?"

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Really sad. Sorry it was short, but I promise that the next chapter, I'll make it a lot longer. Maybe now I'll get some good reviews rather than some '1 out 10' reviews from my previous Mikey fic, "Mikey's Dirty Little Secret." Hopefully, it's a lot better. Stay tuned for more!


	2. Denial

So, you thought the first chapter got angsty? In this chapter, it takes it to the maximum...well, when you get to the middle of it.

Hopefully, this will leave readers and reviewers wanting more, including Wolf Mystic. Enjoy!!

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Chapter 2: Denial

A few hours later, Mikey was still in his room, sulking, just being a little bit depressed and moody, in the dark by himself, just keeping himself away from everyone else, including his two older brothers. He frustrates himself to even see the two get at each other since Leo's return. It has affected him the most and he feels like it's messed up.

He lays down on his bed, just listening to the silence, which again got on his nerves, but he has to get used to it, because every little memory about Raph and Leo getting at each other has consumed his brain and that was something that he couldn't get rid of. He sighs heavily and felt a deep amount of sorrow inside of him, because of Leo's year-long departure to Central America.

It's been eating him alive since he left and also, because of Raph's constant frustrations at the world and taking out his anger on Donny and also to Leo. It just seems like it's been getting on his nerves for sometime and he couldn't put up with it.

Then, he heard a knock on the door and said, groggily, "Go away, dude."

"It's me, Leo."

He groaned heavily and then, he asked, "What do you want?"

"Can I come in?"

"Do I have a choice?"

Leo sighs and then, opens the door to check on Mikey. He sees him sitting up on his bed, looking depressed and kinda moody. He asked, "You okay, little brother?"

Mikey sighed heavily and asked, "Can you stop saying that? I'm not little anymore."

"That's what I always call you, Mikey, cause you are my little brother."

"Dude, I already know, okay? There's no need to keep calling me that."

Leo became a little concerned and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me, okay?"

"Yes, there is. If there's a problem, you can tell me."

Mikey grew irritated and told him, "There's no problem, Leo. Can we at least just leave it at that?"

Leo didn't know what's up with Mikey and then he figured out what's up with him. He looked at him and asked, "Is this something about me leaving you guys behind all year?"

Mikey didn't say nothing and he just ignored his question. Leo was waiting for answer and then, he wanted to get to the heart of his brother's issues. Then, without surprise, Mikey turned to him and nodded his head a little. Leo sighed and said, "I see. If there was a problem with me leaving, can you at least tell me the reason?"

"There are no reasons, Leo."

Leo was surprised about Mikey being like this. He's always the one who's really goofy, laid-back and happy-go-lucky turtle that most of the brothers are used to, but Leo never expected him to be so moody, troubled and also depressed. It's like a side of Mikey that he's never seen before. He knew there was something inside of him that he didn't want to talk about and he told him, "You're in denial, Mikey."

Mikey froze for a bit and then, he turned to Leo and said, "I'm not in denial, dude."

"Yeah, you are. You're not telling me anything and you're shutting me out, which you never do."

"Who's shutting who out? I just don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Mikey..."

"Dude, just leave me alone, okay?!" he yelled.

Leo let out a sharp sigh and he never knew he could be this moody. What else was there to do? He had but no choice to exit out his room, but as soon as he got to the door, he sighed and then, he looked at Mikey and said, "If you still want to talk, you can just come to me, okay?"

Mikey sighed heavily and said, "I need my space, okay?"

And with that, Leo left his room and he was starting to get really worried about Mikey. As soon as he got down to the living room, Donny saw him looking bewildered and distraught. He stood up from the table and asked, "What's up, Don?"

Leo sighed heavily and said, "It's Mikey. There's something wrong with him but he won't talk to me about it."

"He's still in his room?" Donny asked.

"Kinda, I guess. I mean, I've never seen him like this before, Donny."

"You know how Mikey is. He just probably needs some downtime and he'll cool off for a few hours and he'll be back to his normal self in no time."

"Are you sure?"

"Would I lie to you? Don't answer that, because I never do."

Leo sighed nervously and realized that Mikey needs some time to himself and said, "Okay, if you say so."

* * *

_4 hours later...._

Leo was pacing around, thinking about Mikey and looked at his watch and noticed that it's mid-afternoon and he still hasn't come out of his room. Donny was walking around the hallway, with a Sudoku book, and then, he sat down and began to figure out some missing numbers of Sudoku.

Leo looked at Donny and asked, "What are you doing?"

"Sudoku?"

"Is that that game where it's mismatched numbers?"

"You just have to test out your mathematical know-how on these things."

"I wish I could solve Mikey's problem."

"Still hasn't come out?"

"It's been four hours."

"How many?"

"4 hours."

Donny sighed heavily and said, "I'm going back."

He stood up and then, he went up towards the top of the balcony and went towards Mikey's room. He knocked on the door and said, "Mikey, can I come in?"

"Go away, dude." Mikey said.

Donny growls in frustration and burst in the door, looking increasingly frustrated and ticked off. He told him, "What is your problem, anyway?"

"Nothing's the problem, okay?"

"No, it is not. I know what's going on, but you're not telling me anything!"

"So what if there is a problem? Is that what you want me to do, tell you about my problem?!"

"That's exactly what I want!"

"Dude, this is my problem. Not you, nor Raph's or Leo's. Just me, so just leave it at that!"

Donny angrily pounded his fist on the wall and said, "Bullcrap! Just tell me now!"

"I'm not telling you anything!"

"You're in denial, Mike! Just tell me what's up with you!"

"Why should I tell you anything?!"

"Because we're brothers! We tell each other ANYTHING!!!"

"For once, can you at least give me my freakin' space?! I don't want to tell you ANYTHING!!! ALL RIGHT?! NO-THING!!!!"

"Hey, what's happening here?"

They turned around and saw Raph enter Mikey's room. Mikey grew irritated and asked, "Can you get out of here, Raph? This does not involve you."

"Why should I leave? I heard you guys screaming at each other and I wanted to know what the problem is." Raph said.

"There's no problem, Raph."

"Don't listen to him. He's hiding something from us." Donny explained.

"Don't listen to him. He wants me to spill something out of my mouth." Mikey said.

"Can both of youse tell me what's up? It's getting on my nerves just hearing you both screaming through your lungs without me knowing about it." Raph said, frustratedly.

"I'm trying, but Mikey's not telling me anything."

"Are you in denial, Mikey?" asked Raph.

"What kind of question is that?" asked Mikey.

"The kind of question you should answer."

Mikey grew furious and then, told him, "If you want to know what's up with me, fine. I'll just come right out and say it!"

"Thank you!" Donny exclaimed.

Mikey sighed heavily and said, "I resented Leo for leaving Central America for a year and then, I resented Raph for being the Nightwatcher and also for being such a jerk while Leo's been back. Ever since Leo came back, you guys have been on each other's throats and I can't stand seeing both of you being so hateful towards each other."

Donny's face softened a bit and Raph was shocked to hear what Mikey said and both of them stood there, and they both asked, "What.....?"

"Is that true, little brother?"

They all turned around and saw Leo standing in Mikey's room and Mikey answered, "Yeah. That's how I felt."

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I told you it would be extreme. The next chapter gets totally intense! Just wait for it. Laterz!


	3. Resentment

Now, you'll see Mikey's emotional sorrow unleashed! A little thing called, 'resentment'. We pick up where chapter 2 left off.

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Chapter 3: Resentment

Leo, Raph and Donny looked at Mikey in complete disbelief and shock hearing what he said. Leo was still in shock over what was happening, Raph looked emotionally disturbed about the situation and Donny held his mouth open in surprise to know that all of the feelings Mikey had was released.

"Mikey, is this....true?" asked Leo.

"Of course it's true!" Raph shouted.

"Not you!" Donny exclaimed.

Mikey sighed heavily and said, "Yes, it's true."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"If I told you that, then it would make you feel like the worst brother for leaving behind me, Raph and Donny. I've always felt like I wasn't being needed when you left Central America. It just made me feel messed up knowing that I couldn't rely on both you and Raph."

"What do you mean by 'you can't rely on me'? Don't you know that I can always count on you?" asked Raph.

"Sometimes, but not really. You and Donny are always at odds with each other every day."

"He's got a point, Raph." Donny said.

Raph snarled at him and asked, "Who asked you?!"

"That's exactly what I'm talking about!" Mikey exclaimed.

Leo sighed heavily and said, "I knew that I would've looked out for him more."

The others turned to Leo and Donny said, "Don't say that, Leo. You had to do what you had to do. You wanted to do some training, but that doesn't mean you could've stayed around a little longer."

"Spoken like a true used-to-be leader." Raph said.

Donny seethed at him and said, "That's exactly what's causing the problem. You sleep all day, but yet you become this vigilante by night and we didn't know about that. How do you sleep at night or by day?"

"Well, at least I don't sit around tinkering with inventions and machines all day for 'fun' or run a stupid IT Tech support line." Raph said.

Donny gasped in offense and said, "You know I had to provide for all of us!"

"Apparently, you ain't doing a good job at it!"

"I know all of my tech stuff, all right? You just don't pull your weight around except for the fact that you're a vigilante by night, which we don't know about!"

"I HAVE been pulling my weight around, all right?"

"Fighting crime at night behind our backs? Is there a pay job for that?"

"Listen to me, you--"

"Enough!" Leo exclaimed.

They both turned to him and asked, "WHAT?!"

"It's my fault that Mikey feels this way, okay?"

Raph was gonna disagree, but then he said, "Yeah, you're right. It is your fault."

"Hey, it's your fault, as well."

Leo froze in shock, turned to Raph and asked, "And how is this my fault?"

"Apparently, you haven't been spending enough time with him before he even left. And you tell me how can that be MY fault?"

"Let me answer that. You and me have been fighting over pulling whose weight, but for some reason, you kinda shut Mikey out."

"I would never do that to him!"

"You liar!"

Raph gritted his teeth at Leo and said, "Listen here, it's your fault that Mikey hasn't looked up to you since you left."

"The same to you. Because of your anger and stuff, Mikey has needed you now more than ever."

"There was this one time that he needed you the most when he was being 'Cowabunga Carl' and got beaten by some eight-year-olds. He turns to me the most instead of you both." Donny said.

"He could've beaten them back!"

"You know Mikey is not like that! He would never do this kind of stuff to those kids."

"Suppose he could!"

"You know what, you need to take a reality check that Mikey looks up to you most, but you shut him out most times."

"Name one time I did that!"

"Well, when he told you he had a job or that he needed to talk to you about it, you end up posting a 'Go away' sign on the door and told him you couldn't get anywhere near his space."

"That was meant for you or anyone that intrudes my space!"

The three were all arguing louder and Mikey couldn't take anymore of it. He has always felt a deep resentment towards the older two for being remotely absent and not present throughout. He picked up a sai and threw it across the wall to stop the fighting. It obviously caught their attention and they stopped fighting and looked at Mikey.

Mikey panted furiously and then, Leo asked, "What's up with that?"

Mikey stood up, looking increasingly mad and then, said, "Because I am fed up with you guys arguing! I've always hated that you left us for a year because you wanted to be more of a leader. You already know the duties of being a leader already! And also, because you and Raph are always at odds with each other about who's right and who's wrong! Make up your own freakin' minds, already! It's like you left us hanging and didn't show one sign of remorse about it! Haven't we always looked up to you?! And you, Raph, your rage and anger has always made me nervous inside, like you're starting a fight with someone and never stop! I mean, you were the one I looked up to, but for some reason, your impatience and anger has fueled you up and end up taking it out on everyone else here! You guys were the ones that I looked up to, but when I turn around, all I can see is no one! Why can't you guys just get along for once?! I hate it when you guys fight all the time and when you left us for a year and it makes me sad all day."

Leo and Raph looked at Mikey and they never heard him let out his anger and frustration towards both of them and Donny asked, "So, in other words, you feel a bit of resentment towards both of them?"

"Yes, I do." Mikey answered.

"We didn't know. We're really sorry about it, Mikey." Leo said.

Mikey looked at both of them and said, "Besides, why do you care anyway?"

"I'm your brother, Mikey. That's what we do."

"We're a team! We're supposed to stick together, but because of you and Raph, it feels like we're separating."

"Just because I say what I say, it doesn't mean I hate them." Raph said.

"Sometimes, it feels that way. But your words always seems to get on my nerves, along with your anger and resentment towards Leo. I wish you would stop being such a jerk."

"You know, I think we should leave, because he needs his space now." Donny said.

"I've been like a friend to you and already you're gonna do me like that?! Haven't I always treated you right, Mikey?! Have you?! HAVE YA?! I swear, if you weren't my brother, I would kill you for dead, but I can't, because I would give my life to you!" Raph shouted.

"Okay, Raph. Can we not make it worse, please?" Leo asked.

"I ain't finished yet!"

"I think you are."

They walked out of Mikey's room, but Raph stopped and turned to Mikey and said, "Mikey, I spend time with you more than the others."

Mikey sighed and said, "No, you don't. All you do is think about yourself."

"You're always my little bro, Mikey."

Then, Raph let his room without another word and then, Mikey felt extremely upset and that all the feelings he has was released and then, he got to his bed and started crying. He cried himself in the dark, feeling lonely and very vulnerable that he feels this way towards Leo and Raph, like he feels separated towards them.

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Told ya it was gonna be intense! Stay tuned for chapter 4!


	4. Frustration

You might want to break out the tissues for this one. This is a mixture of anger, hurt, tears and angst in this part.

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Chapter 4: Frustration

A few hours after the conflict argument between Mikey and his brothers and revealing his true feelings towards Leo and Raph, Mikey was sitting in his bed, sulking about his resentment and thinking about everything he said to them and it seems like there's a hidden amount of betrayal towards one of them.

His thoughts about Leo being gone for a year has left Mikey full of complete depression and betrayal inside of him, like he didn't want to be around his brothers anymore or that he needs to leave them for some unknown reasons, just to better himself for being a better leader, because Raph thinks he's seriously lacking on being a reasonable leader.

He suddenly realizes that it became the reason for Leo's departure; Raph thinking that he should be a better leader and take over Leo's duty as leader and shove him off to the side. Just the thought of Leo out of the way wanted him to just ate him alive and it consumed him in so many unknown ways.

But his resentment was headed towards Leo for leaving him, Donny, Raph and Splinter for a full year to Central America to become an efficent leader and to better himself, when he knows that he is already a better leader than he was before he left and Raph's resentment towards him has made him a little bit furious.

He sighed heavily and he feels as though Raph hates Leo for his leadership skills and thinks that Splinter is favoring him for that, because Leo spends the most time Splinter and Mikey never sees Splinter favoring his brothers, but Raph feels that way and it made him kinda want to ask him several questions about his deep resentment.

It hurts him to know that Raph wanted to accuse Splinter for constantly favoring Leo rather than the others and that Raph feels jealous for that and the fact that he feels that way made him a lot frustrated at both Raph and Leo. It's like a ginormous wound that shot him straight on his insides and it feels as though no one will understand what it did to him that damaged him deep inside.

'Why did Leo have to leave us behind for a full year? It feels as though I'm not wanted around them, because of the tensions between him and Raph. Why do they act like they hate each other so much? I'm so confused on why did Leo left us behind and Raph thinking that we would be better off without him. I can't stand this tension for so long. I have no choice, but to tell them my own feelings.' Mikey thought.

Mikey sighed frustratedly and got up from his bed and went out of his room, but as soon as he got out, he sees Raph standing in his door and looking in his eyes made him feel petrified. He asked, "How long have you been standing there, Raph?"

"Long enough, Mikey. Long enough." he replied.

Then, he went into Mikey's room and slammed the door, like he's ready to attack him. Mikey stepped back and Raph got in his face and said, "Why do you think I came back here?"

Mikey looked nervous and replied, "T-to kill me?"

"Nah, too brutal. I just came to ask you why did you say all the things about me."

"Well, you always take out your anger on Donny and show a little bit of resentment and jealousy towards Leo spending more time with Splinter, thinking that he likes him more, but it's not true. He doesn't favor one of us. You know Splinter's not like that." Mikey explained.

"In your eyes he's not. In mine, he is. It's like you three are the most important to him and I'm stuck with nothing."

"Splinter is not like that!" Mikey shouted.

"He is!"

"Splinter has always appreciated us and we appreciate him! So what if he spends more time with Leo? That's not the cause of this situation! The problem is that you always blame everyone but yourself!"

"Take that back!"

"Look, Raph. You always feel like Leo isn't cut out for being leader of this brotherhood. He's a good leader and no one should replace both you or him!"

"Why should I take notice of what you just said?! Splinter likes Leo better than me!"

"No, he doesn't! He loves all of us!"

Raph growls in frustration and said, "You just don't get it!"

"No! YOU don't get it! In fact, you NEVER get it at all! You just can't accept the fact that Leo spends more time with Splinter, but not because he abandoned you. Because he sees him as a brilliant leader with a personality who has a need for us to be a better team."

"When Leo left, we got along just fine without him, right?! Am I right, Michaelangelo?!"

Mikey looked into his brown eyes and sees a big gamut of rage and jealousy towards Leo and Mikey responds, "Not really."

Raph seethed deeply and told him, "I cannot believe you would be this selfish!"

"Someone's selfish all right, but it's not me. It's YOU!!"

Raph froze for a bit and Mikey thinks that he's selfish and Mikey continued to tell him, "You just don't care about nobody but yourself!"

"It's all Leo's fault for leaving us behind! What did I ever to do to you?"

"You show no sign of remorse or that you even care about Leo and the others, me included."

"Are you saying that the way I treated him is my fault?"

"Pretty much."

"I think both of you are right."

They turned around and saw Leo standing there. He said, "I can hear you guys arguing when I got past Mikey's door. But Splinter doesn't favor me. He treats us all the same."

"That's what I'm trying to get Raph to understand." Mikey said.

"Splinter shouldn't have to treat you like he's wrapped you around his little finger whenever he wants." Raph said.

Leo stands up and tells Raph, "You're wrong about what you said."

"Excuse me? A few minutes ago, you said that I'm right. So, why am I wrong now?"

"Splinter does not play favorites. Just because I spend more time wirh Splinter doesn't mean he's leaving you to the side."

"You are SO wrong and you know it!"

"If I'm wrong, then who's right?"

"I am! Whatever I say, it's always right!"

"And also the opposite." Mikey muttered.

"I heard that!"

"Don't take it out on Mikey!" Leo shouted.

"I can take my anger out on anyone I want."

"Can we stop the drama, please? I don't want to come between you and you!"

"You shut up!" Raph shouted.

"Don't tell him to shut up!"

"You don't tell me when to shut up! I can tell anyone to shut up whenever I want!"

"WHY DON'T YOU BOTH SHUT UP?!!!" Mikey shouted.

They both looked at Mikey in silence and he felt like he's shaking a bit. Mikey lowered his head down and told him softly, "It doesn't matter who's right or wrong. The fact is that I can't stand seeing you like this. In fact, I never liked seeing you guys like this and I'm always worried that I'm gonna be in the middle of this. Leo, I admire you a lot, but it feels like you left us behind for a year and it feels as though I haven't got the most attention to you as I thought and it just feels like you're kinda...ashamed of us and don't like to be around us and for some reason, it just feels like we're constantly disappointing you, but I would never disappoint you, though. And Raph, you're kinda being, as I said, a jerk and sometimes a bit stubborn and like to lash out at Leo and Donny more often than me. You think Splinter likes Leo better than you, but he would never do that."

"Sometimes it feels that way." Raph said.

"It doesn't have to be that way, Raph. Splinter admires me a lot, but he admires all of us as well." Leo said.

Raph scoffed at him and turned the other way around and said, "What's the point in talking to you guys at all?"

Leo sighed heavily and felt like this is going nowhere, so he left Mikey's room without another word, leaving Raph and Mikey standing there, and Mikey felt a bit nervous about what Raph will say. Raph turned to Mikey and said, "Sometimes, you always take sides. You're supposed to be on MY side, Mikey."

"Well, I don't take sides from anyone."

Raph fumes a little and storms out of his room in a huff and shouts, "I WISH YOU WOULD DIE, MICHAELANGELO!!!"

Then, he slams the door as loud as he could and Mikey felt like he was stabbed in the heart when Raph said that. It really tore Mikey up and he kneeled down to the floor, lowered his head and started crying. Tears were already streaming down his face and they fell down to the floor. Already, he was sobbing uncontrollably and it felt like for the first time in his life, he was starting to become mistreated by both Leo and Raph, though Leo never mistreats Mikey.

"Michaelangelo..."

Then, he rose his head and sees Master Splinter in his room. Tears were already coming from his teary blue eyes and asked, "Yes, Sensei?"

"Something has been troubling you, my son."

Mikey didn't say anything, so he just nodded his head slowly. Splinter came towards him and puts his hand on his shell to know that Splinter is keeping Mikey comforted. He looked up at him and asked, "How much did you hear?"

"All of it. You know I never favor you all, right?" asked Splinter.

"Of course not, master."

"I understand that you have been feeling some resentment towards both Leonardo and Raphael."

"How'd you know that?"

"I can tell from your eyes."

Mikey rubbed his eyes gently and sighed heavily and said, "I don't know what to do, Master Splinter."

Splinter sighed and told him, "I would never favor you over your brothers."

"What's the point, Master Splinter? No matter what I do or think on this situation, it's never gonna be good enough."

"Do not say that, are good enough."

Splinter came to him and hugged him tightly. Mikey was crying softly on Splinter's shoulders and tears were streaking through his robe. Splinter whispered to him, "It's gonna be okay. I'm here, my son....and I always will be."

"Thanks, Sensei. You're the only one who understands me."

"Don't I always? You're always the one that lightens my day and it is my turn to lightne yours as well. Maybe I should have a little talk with Leonardo and Raphael about this situation that you are in, but cannot get yourself out of."

Mikey nodded his head and said, "Yes, Sensei."

* * *

Is that sweet or what? The next chapter...definitely a moment where Mikey plans to end his life because of the resentment. Bring on the reviews!


	5. Anguish

Well, here's the angsty Mikey chapter you've been waiting for! Hopefully, you'll find it awesome!

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Chapter 5: Anguish

Several hours after Raph's outburst towards Mikey, he's sitting in his room in the front of his bed in the dark, with the radio playing an emo rock song, just thinking about everything that Raph said.

Mikey sighed heavily and he knows that everything Raph said was wrong and that he was out of line for that. It's like he feels this wound inside of him that refuses to be healed and it scarred him deeply in the heart. He lowered his head down between his legs and his tears were falling down towards his face.

He laid his back on his bed, looking at the ceiling and just thinking about the whole situation that ever occured to him and that it just tore him up inside and out, about his little resentment towards both Leo and Raph, both of their relationships towards each other became strained, because of minor disagreements.

He was shaking a little to hear all these words coming out of Raph's mouth that was directed towards Mikey.

_'I cannot believe you would be this selfish!'_

It feels like Raph hates Mikey for being the voice of reason for his depression and his resentment towards the both of them. He just couldn't escape all this verbal abuse that Raph gave him.

He whispered to himself, "Why, Raph? What did I ever do to you?"

_'Whatever I say, it's always right!'_

He covered his head to hide away his hurt and frustration from everyone else because he feels as though both of his older brothers were pretty much distant from each other and his team included. But mostly, Raph felt as if Mikey's taking Leo's side and felt a sense of betrayal. For Mikey, it's not true what he said, because he cannot be pressured over who's right and who's wrong and which person can have the last say.

Mikey feels like his heart has been ripped open and his emotions began to break down and it feels like he's been hiding a lot of anguish and some vulnerability towards both of his older brothers. He walked around his room and then, looked at himself in the mirror and thinks who he has become.

Mikey lowers his head and started crying softly and the tears started coming out his blue eyes and closed both of them. He looked at himself in the mirror and wondered if he was ever meant to be living, but because of Raph's constant selfishness and anger attitude towards both Leo and Mikey, it just seems as though what Raph said will sink in to Mikey.

_'I WISH YOU WOULD DIE, MICHAELANGELO!!! Then, I would be happy that you're gone.'_

There was so much anger coming out of Raph that it affected Mikey the most and he felt as if he wouldn't live any longer. Mikey sighed heavily and wondered that if he would ever forgive either Raph or Leo. He would forgive Leo, because he relies on him the most, even though he had to leave the others behind for going on his training, but for Raph, he would try to forgive him, but he's afraid that he won't forgive him back because of not deciding who's right or wrong; Leo or Raph.

It just seems as though the situation has been a devastating moment in Mikey's life and he kneeled himself down on the floor and whispered, "I'm sorry, Leo. I'm sorry, Raph."

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Donny has been completely disgusted at Raph's behavior towards Mikey about not choosing who's right and who's wrong. He asked, "Why are you like a jerk towards Mikey?"

"If Mikey had decided that I was right, then we wouldn't have this problem." Raph said.

"And you ended up hurting his feelings." Leo said.

"He'll get over it."

"I don't think he'll get over it, because YOU made him feel really bad."

"And should I even care about it?"

"Yeah, you should! Why? Because you're his brother!"

"Man, I wish he would die!"

"Don't say that!" Donny shouted.

"Say what?! I'll say whatever I want to say and I don't give at least a crap about it!" Raph said.

"See, that's your problem. You cut everyone else out and expect them to listen to you instead of the other person."

"And you think you know everything."

"And you do?"

"Of course I do!"

"Shocker." Leo said, silently.

Raph growled at Leo and said, "I heard that!"

"Wanna hear it again?"

"Want me to beat you up?!"

"Raphael!"

Then, the three turned around and saw Master Splinter walking out of his room and said, "I can hear you from all the way here."

"What's it to you, Splinter?"

"Your attitude towards Michaelangelo has been particularly disrespectful."

"Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do?"

"Raphael, I am your master!"

"Besides, why does everyone take Mikey's side, anyway? He's the one that took Leo's side!"

"Raphael, Michaelangelo does not take sides. Does it really matter who's right and who's wrong? When in reality, both you and Leo are right and wrong at the same time."

"That's what I tried to tell him, master. I can agree to disagree, but Raph always disagrees to agree." Leo said.

"Big mouth." Raph muttered.

"You know, one of these days, that whatever you say to Mikey, you're gonna end up pushing it a little too far." Donny said.

Raph scoffed and folded his arms on his chest and walked away from them and then, turned back and said, "So what? I wish Mikey would die and never come back."

"Raphael!" Splinter exclaimed.

"That's just wrong. What if Mikey heard that?" Leo asked.

"Then, you would end up hurtin his feelings." Donny said.

"It's not that I don't care about Mikey. It's that he can take my side for once."

They all groaned in frustration and then, Leo said, "You just don't get it, don't you?"

"You'll never change, Raph." said Donny.

"Raphael, your arrogance has affected Michaelangelo with such despair. One day, you will push your comments a little too far."

Raph scoffed at Splinter and then walked away from them and went back to his room to be away from everyone. Leo, Donny and Splinter grew concerned about Mikey and Leo was the one that was the most worried. He said, "Maybe I should go check on Mikey to see if he's okay."

"Leo, just give him some time. When he's ready, he'll come to us" Donny said.

Splinter nodded his head and agreed with Donny about it. Leo sighed heavily and said, "Whatever you say. I just hope he's okay."

* * *

_Thursday Morning, 5:45 A.M._

Mikey woke himself up after a rough night, after Raph's constant verbal abuse towards him. It just made him feel really bad that his own brother would say something like this. His blue eyes were stinging with all the tears he shed all night, like he's been crying himself to sleep all night long.

His eyes were red on the inside and it stung him from all the tears he shed all night. He sat up on his bed and thought that maybe it would be better off if he wasn't around anymore.

He got up from his bed and walked towards his mirror and looked at himself and knew that it would be the last time he would ever look at himself in the mirror. Mikey hid his face, because there were more tears streaming down his face and he was shaking softly and started sobbing softly.

Then, he sat down on his bed with a piece of paper and wrote himself a little note regarding that he's gonna end his life and go with what Raph has wished for; that he would die. Tears were streaked through his letter and it seems as though he wasn't about to live anymore.

After he wrote the letter, he took off his orange bandana and set it towards the floor and then, he opened his drawer and pulls out a gun and put it through his brain. He was shaking so bad that he wanted to end his life away and knew that if he stayed there longer, it would mean that he would be verbally abusive by Raph.

"Here's what you wished for, Raph. I'm so sorry, everyone. I hope you guys don't forget about me. Goodbye...forever."

Within a few seconds, he pulled the trigger on himself and then...

BAAAAAAAAAANNNNNGGGG!!!

He shot two bullets to himself and then, fell down on the floor with the gun dropped the same way. Blood was going out of his head and only for several minutes, he killed himself in a suicide.

The gunshot woke Donny up and wondered where it came from. He panted heavily and whispered, "What was that?"

He got up and went towards one of the rooms and when he opened Mikey's door, it was very dark and he couldn't see a thing. So, he went in and turned on the lamp and half of the lights in his room to find out where the gunshot is coming from.

But as he turned around, he saw something horrifying on the floor.

"Mikey?" he whispered.

He saw blood coming from the floor and then, he sees Mikey laying down on the floor with the gun near his hand. Donny gasped quietly and and saw him lying there, dead.

"No."

He carried Mikey and then, tears started forming towards his brown eyes and tried a desperate attempt to wake him up, but there was no response and breathing there. Mikey was dead.

"No, this can't be true. Please tell me he hasn't killed himself."

Donny kneeled himself down on the floor and then, he carried Mikey's deceased body and cried on his head. He looked at his brother and realized that what Raph said has really sunk in for the first time.

"I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm so sorry."

A few hours later, Donny went into Splinter's room and then, Splinter noticed Donny looking very disturbed and devastated. He turned to him and asked, "Donatello, what's the matter?"

"Splinter, something terrible happened to Mikey."

"Kneel."

Donny did what his master said and then, he told him the bad news. He lifted his head up and tried his best to cover his tears from his master, but Splinter saw one teardrop fall out of his face.

"Is it very serious?"

"Yes, sensei. Mikey has....killed himself."

* * *

Very angsty and suicidal! The next chapter will pretty much bring in the grieving and mourning over Mikey's death. Hopefully, this will leave you guys impressed! Stay tuned for the next chapter!


	6. Grieving

This chapter will completely leave your in tears for this. The aftermath of Mikey's death is affecting everyone, including Raph. Hopefully, this will leave good reviews. No scathing, please!

BTW, this is where chapter 5 left off.

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Chapter 6: Grieving

Splinter gasped in horror and asked Donny, "What?"

"I saw him lying on the floor in his room...with his blood pouring out. He couldn't even move." Donny said, tearfully.

Splinter exhaled sharply and didn't know what to make of it and his brown eyes were glassy-eyed and felt devastated to know that Mikey has been killed. He thought someone has killed him and he closed his eyes to hide away the fact that he's thinking about war. He looked at Donny and asked, "Who killed him?"

Donny sighed heavily and then said, "Mikey did."

Then, Splinter's eyes widened and looked totally bewildered and whispered, "What? Michaelangelo....killed himself?"

"Yes, sensei." Donny whispered.

He couldn't believe that Mikey had killed himself and that it became the point to end his life away. Splinter panted softly and then, looked at Donny and said, "Show me."

By the time they entered Mikey's bedroom, Splinter turned on the light and saw Mikey's body laid down on the floor with his almost dried blood out of his skull. He became horrified on what he saw, his own youngest son dying on the floor of his room. Then, he saw the gun laying down on the floor, he became even more shocked that he really did kill himself.

"How can this be true?" Splinter whispered.

"I don't know, Master. I haven't seen it, but I heard the gunshot." Donny said.

Splinter backed away slowly and panted heavily and then, he kneeled himself down on the floor and lowered his head down. Donny sees the tears coming out of his face and sees him grieving inside. He got down on one knee and comforted him. He whispered, It's okay, sensei."

"He used to be filled with so much fun, joy and very friendly to be around. Now, I do not know what happened. I do not know how he was so filled with sorrow and pain lately." Splinter said.

"Neither do I, Master Splinter. Neither do I."

Soon enough, Leo looked around in Mikey's room and sees Donny and Splinter together, just looking gloomy. He wanted to know what's wrong, but when he saw Mikey lying there with no movements, he already figured it out. Leo gasped in shock when he saw the dried blood out of his skull and realized that he has attempted to do suicide. He looked at both Splinter and Donny and they looked at him and asked, "Is Mikey.....?"

Donny nodded his head and Leo couldn't believe what he was hearing that Mikey was really dead. And what's more shocking is that there was a gun in Mikey's drawers and they don't even know who's gun it is.

"How long was this happening?" asked Leo.

"Almost a half-hour ago." Donny answered.

"Did anyone see it?"

"No. I never got to save him in time."

Then, Leo held his head down also and then, he looked on the front of his bed and sees a note in it. He looked at the note and on the front it reads, 'my first suicide note.'

"Hey, Mikey left us a note."

"Read it, my son." Splinter said.

Leo unfolded the letter and starts reading it to them, which will probably be too painful for them to hear. He clears his throat and begins reading;

_"Guys, I'm in a depressing mood lately this week, simply I felt a bit of resentment towards Leo for leaving us behind for the whole year in Central America and for Raph accusing Leo by thinking Splinter likes him more than himself. I'm sorry that it has to end like this, but it seems as though there is no point in living any longer. If I do, it would mean put a damper on you guys and I don't want that for you. You dudes are the most important things in my life and I know you guys would never forget me. And for Raph, I wouldn't worry the most because I know he told me that he wishes that I would die, so he wanted this wish, he's got his wish. But, I will always be with you, even if I have to end my life. Just don't forget about me at all. Sensei, thank you for everything you've taught me. You're more than just a teacher, you're like the father I never had, even if I'm not an only child. I just like to thank you all from the bottom of my gruesome heavy, but radical heart that's putting a hole inside of me. Cowabunga for life, Michaelangelo. P.S.: I love you guys.'_

Leo's eyes were filled with tears after hearing this letter and so did Donny and Splinter for hearing it as well. Leo covered his face to keep the tears away from everyone else so no one can see it.

"I can't believe he's gone." Leo said, tearfully.

"Neither do we." Donny said, with tears in his eyes.

"Why's everyone here?"

Then, they turned around and saw Raph standing in Mikey's room and he sees Mikey laying on the floor without any movements at all. He sees his dried blood around his floor and then, squats down on the ground and is shocked by what he saw; his brother dead. Then, he sees the gun and picks it up off the floor.

"I've been looking for this thing."

Then, it caught Leo's attention and he stands up and asked, "Did you say it was 'your' gun, Raph?"

Raph turned around and replied, "No...."

"Then, why does it have your name on it?" asked Donny.

Then, Raph looked at the bottom of it and says, 'Property of Raph'. He looked at the label and then, chuckled softly and said, "What do you know, it's mine."

Splinter looked angry at Raph for secretly hiding an unknown gun and putting it in Mikey's drawers. He asked, "Why was this gun in here, Raphael?"

"Well, I brought it home one night after my so-called 'Nightwatcher' duties and labeled it as my property, but then, I heard someone come in and I thought it was you, so I rushed over to my room, but instead, I accidently made a little detour to Mikey's room and put it in his drawers by mistake."

"And it stayed there for a year?!" Leo snapped.

"I have forgotten all about the thing, until today."

"Yeah, 'until today'. Why did you put it in Mikey's room?"

"What difference does it make?"

"One, you put the gun in Mikey's room by accident and didn't tell us you brought it home and secondly, which should've been the first, Mikey is dead!"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, he died this morning and it's all your fault!"

"How can this be MY fault, Leo?!"

"Because if memory serves, I seem to recall you screaming to Mikey yesterday, 'I wish you would die!', that he would actually do that!" Donny shouted.

"I didn't tell him that."

"Your brain might be malfunctioning, but my ears didn't get in a technical glitz!" Leo said.

"You don't even have ears!"

Then, Raph paused for a sec and heard that voice came out of his head and then, looked at Mikey's dead body and recalled the day he said that to him. Then, he heard that voice echo inside his head and screamed, "I WISH YOU WOULD DIE, MICHAELANGELO!!!' and then, he looked at Mikey and didn't know he would actually kill himself.

Then, he looked at them and said, "I was just upset, okay?"

"Upset about what?!"

"That he wouldn't take my side, because you left us all for your little training in Central America last year!"

"Are you still holding on to that?! Master Splinter sent me out there for a reason; to be a better leader and better myself." Leo said.

"And you thought that Splinter would favor him!" Donny said.

"Well, how would he like him better than me?!"

"SPLINTER IS NOT LIKE THAT, RAPH!!! Get it through your frickin' head!" Leo shouted.

"Mikey betrayed me."

"Mikey would never do that!"

"Even if Mikey can be a pain sometimes, he's still our brother and he'll always be here!"

"Wake up and smell the turtle wax! He's dead! There's nothing we can do about it!"

"Nothing we can do about?! Are you saying we should just forget about Mikey?!" Leo shouted.

"I did not say that! What I am saying is that life will go on without Mikey! I don't even care about him!"

"Raphael! You should not say that about your brother!" Splinter exclaimed.

"Save it and eat some cheese!"

That was the straw that broke Splinter's back and then, he turned to Raph and said, "Take it back."

Then, Raph realized that he said something he would deeply regret and towards Splinter. He turned to Splinter, who's starting to grow ultra-angry and said, "I just said the wrong thing, didn't I?"

Leo and Donny nodded their heads and then, Splinter told them, "You three, come with me."

* * *

Then, they all went into Splinter's room and told them, "We are here for one purpose and one purpose only; to mourn the loss of your brother; Michaelangelo. We didn't see him kill himself and we do not know how he did. What I am also here is because of Michaelangelo's hardships this past week is because there was some resentment between Leonardo and Raphael."

"Why you gotta blame it on me, Splinter? I ain't doing nothing to him!" Raph said.

"Silence, Raphael!"

"Master, I think I may be the one that causes the most tension. It was my fault. I shouldn't have left Central America last year, but I did it anyway for you." Leo said.

"Do not blame yourself, Leonardo. You knew you did what you had to do." Splinter said.

"Will you listen to this? Pathetic. Look at him, sucking up to Splinter and taking responsiblility for it." Raph said.

"If I were you, I'd zip it." Donny whispered.

"Who are you telling who to zip it?"

Splinter clears his throat and said, "Silence."

"Yes, sensei."

"And also, I've been trying to explain this to Raph and Mikey, but Raph thought I was just favoring you." Leo said.

Splinter looked at Raph and told him, "Is that true?"

"Yeah, Master."

"You know I would never favor you. All four of you are my favorites. And one of them will always be the ones I love most. But, you have to realize that sometimes, your brothers may need me for something, but that does not mean you have to take it out on them because of that. You just have to show some patience and compassion towards them. As I said yesterday, one of these days, your comments and attitude will go too far and because of that, that is how Michaelangelo killed himself. You have to ask yourself, 'Do I love my brothers more than anything in the world?', but for some reason, you see it as a weakness and that compassion is not in your presence. That is how your heart has always been full of negative, because you show no compassion. If you would've at least apologized to your brothers, especially Michaelangelo, that would never happen, but you didn't."

Raph realized that whatever he said, he couldn't take it back. He knew how much Mikey was hurting because of his resentment towards them both, but he didn't take the time to even hear it out. He sighed heavily and looked at Splinter in the eyes and realized that he has hurt everyone, including Mikey. At this point, he felt really guilty about what he said to Mikey about wishing he would die and that he actually killed himself. He closed his eyes and lowered his head down and told him, "I didn't mean to hurt his feelings."

"I know you didn't, Raphael." Splinter said.

"I would've told him that I was sorry and that everything was okay and that I loved him. But I didn't. All I did was think about myself and I blamed it all on Leo. I know you would never favor them over me, Master." Raph said.

"And I never will. I love you all just the same."

Raph looked at Leo and asked, "Will you please forgive me?"

"Of course I would." Leo said.

Then, he turned to Splinter and said, "I'm sorry, Master Splinter."

"All is forgiven, my son."

* * *

Several hours later, Raph went into Mikey's room, where his dead body was still laying in there. He sighed heavily and then, sat down on his bed towards him and there were tears falling down his face. He covered his head and his face to keep from anyone seeing his tears coming out.

Then, he looked at Mikey and said, "Hey, little brother. I know you can't hear me, because you're dead and everything, but at least we had a lot of fun together, right? I mean, just kicking butt and saving the world and all. Those were the good old days, Mike. And you would always crack jokes, laugh everything off when I say something stupid towards you and you're always the peacemaker of this family. It's like you were the glue that holds all of us together."

Two tears were streaming out of Raph's face and then, started crying softly. He felt an enormous amount of guilt and remorse over what he said to him that night. He sighed heavily and sniffled two times and tried to keep himself from crying, but he couldn't He got in a few choked sobs and turned to Mikey and said, "You were the best brother I could ever ask for. You were always the cool one and the funny one. Yet, I've tried to help you cure this depression of yours and I didn't help anything. I didn't mean to say that I wish you would die and actually meant it. I was just mad, okay? But I didn't realize that--"

Raph paused himself and then, the tears caught up to him and couldn't hold himself from crying. Then, he continued with a cracked voice, "I didn't realize that you would actually kill yourself. Now I wish I could take it back, but I can't take back what I said, and it's all my fault. It just makes me feel really bad that I treated you like crap while you were hurting. If I could take back what I said, I would. I would never ever do anything to hurt you, little brother. Never."

Then, Raph got down to the floor, held on to Mikey's body and hugged him tightly. He hid his face on Mikey's head and started sobbing softly. Then, with two tears coming down on his cheeks, he whispered, "I love you, Mikey. And I always will. And-- I'm sorry. I'm sorry....for everything."

Raph cried silently and held on to Mikey's lifeless body and then, he kneeled himself down on the floor and continued crying. All of a sudden, Splinter comes in and sees Raph breaking down. He walked over to him and puts his hand on Raph's shoulders.

He sighed and said, "I miss him, Master Splinter."

Then, a few tears were in Splinter's eyes and said, "So do I, my son. So do I."

Then, they were hugging each other and Raph cried into Splinter's robe and Splinter shed some tears as well and then, Leo and Donny came in, looking at Mikey and then, Leo's eyes got misty-eyed and Donny's eyes were already streaming with tears. Then, they came together and hugged both Splinter and Raphael and started crying softly together. They all missed Mikey very much and wishes that he would've lived a lot longer.

* * *

Was that sad or what? R.I.P, Michaelangelo. I'll post the next chapters pretty soon! Laterz!


	7. Mourning

This chapter is a lot sadder to the fullest. Note that there are three songs in this chapter. Most of them are Mikey's favorties. Hopefully, this one will gather all attention. Please like it! You might want to get some tissues for this. Wolf Mystic, one of the three songs are your favorites. Hopefully, you might like it. Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 7: Mourning

The next day, all the turtles were in deep depression and isolation because of dealing with the loss of Mikey. They never realized that he was suffering and they didn't even try to help him out. Most of them were in separate rooms, each of them isolating from themselves, simply because of dealing with the fact that he's gone and he wouldn't come back.

Raph was the one that has been guilty of saying something really mean to his brother and he felt as if he couldn't take it back. Even though he has apologized, he's kicking himself for thinking that he should really die and never come back. It just made him feel really bad that Raph could say all these hurtful things to his brother and never take it back.

"Why did I say all these things to him? Why did he have to die?" Raph asked, with tears coming out of his eyes.

* * *

Donny grew much closer to Mikey, and he hangs around him for the most part, because given their different personalities and different interests, he was always the one to brighten most of the turtles' day, even in their most difficult times. He missed having him around to be outgoing and annoying at times, but he would always try to brighten his day up with a little laugh and sometimes, even joke around often.

For Donny, it's really hard for him to even admit that he's not here anymore. He picks up his digital camera and looks at all the pictures of him and Mikey goofing off with each other and having fun with each other and he chuckled softly to reminisce those memories and he hopes none of them will be forgotten. Then, he looks at the next picture where Donny has stuck his tongue out with Mikey and laughs softly at it.

His smile quickly faded as a few tears started falling down on his face and started crying softly. He laid down on his bed and continued crying throughout. He just couldn't believe that Mikey isn't here anymore and they grew closer together, no matter what their personalities are.

"I love you, Mikey." he whispered, with a tear coming down his face.

* * *

Leo was the one that missed Mikey the most and he came over to Mikey's room and he sees Mikey, still laying there dead in his room and he got totally misty-eyed when he saw him laying them. Then, he looked around his room and sees a few of Mikey's keepsakes of his stuff.

Leo sighs heavily and looks through his treasure box and all he sees are poems and drawings. He looks at every single part of his creative work and became impressed by it. Then, he froze when he saw a picture of Mikey alone in a corner, feeling depressed and sad. Leo looked at it and knew that picture, because of a hard time in his life when he was younger. He knew this because it he has always kept an emotional attachment towards his older brothers, but never really quite told the others about. And he figured something else in the back of drawing. In it, there's something attached to it that says, 'This is how I feel when Leo's away in Central America.'

The drawing quickly made sense to him; that Mikey feels like a little kid who's lost and alone and the drawing shows his true feelings. A few tears fell through Leo's eyes and got to the drawing. He held the picture to his chest as a reminder of Mikey's creative side.

"Mikey...."

* * *

Master Splinter has been meditating for some time, but he's still not over the loss of Mikey. Whenever he closes his eyes, Mikey comes to his mind and it seems as though he can't seem to get rid of it, because he couldn't accept the fact that Mikey isn't here anymore. It just feels as if a part of him was broken and that it couldn't be fixed up.

Splinter sighed heavily and wanted to mourn by himself, but the picture of himself along with his brothers, made him think about Mikey a lot more. He got a little teary-eyed and then, got choked up several times, because whenever he sees his face, it couldn't escape.

He whispered, "Why did you have to leave, my son? Why?"

Splinter kneeled himself down to his knees and lowers his head to prevent any one of his sons for seeing him cry. His heart felt really heavy and sad at the same time. He just couldn't accept the fact that Mikey's not here anymore and that he couldn't see him again. His closed his eyes and let the tears flow out of his face.

"Master Splinter?"

Then, Splinter looked away and said, "Yes, Leonardo?"

Leo looked at Splinter like there's something wrong him. He grew concerned of him and asked, "You okay?"

Splinter sighed heavily and wiped his tears away and then, he replied, "Yes, I'm okay."

Leo could see Splinter's tears coming out and knew something. He asked, "You miss him, huh?"

"Very much so, my son."

"So do I. If I hadn't have left Central America last year, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"Leonardo, this is not your fault."

"Yes, it is, master! It's my fault that he's gone. I wish I could've--"

He paused himself and there were tears coming out of his eyes and then, he started sobbing. Splinter held him tightly and said, "Do not make this hard on yourself, Leonardo. As I said, you did what you had to do, and there was nothing that you could do. There was nothing any of us could've done."

"I don't know if I can forgive myself, master."

"You can. You can also forgive Michaelangelo, too."

Leo sighed heavily and then, whispered, "Yes, sensei."

* * *

Donny went outside the sewers and remembered how Mikey would always use his skateboard to ride all the way back to their lair and everything. Those memories are always remembered and he wanted to have some alone time in Mikey's work van that does birthday gigs, which Mikey used to dread himself going everyday. He went inside the car and looked at all the things that reminds him of Mikey.

It was too painful for him and it was brutal that he was gone. He got misty-eyed and said to himself, "Mikey, if only you were here now. I can't tell you how sorry I am for how I have been for your depression. I wish I could've helped you out more."

It was all too silent for him and he needed to have some sounds to remember his brother by. He looked up and saw one of Mikey's car keys laying there and wanted to hear some of Mikey's favorite songs, despite that Donny felt annoyed by what Mikey hears. But since he wanted to keep his memories alive, he cranked up the car and then, the station played a gentle pop song that always got him in the mood for something soothing and also describing himself.

_You would not believe your eyes,  
If ten million fireflies.  
Lit up the world as I fell asleep.  
'Cause they fill the open air,  
And leave teardrops everywhere.  
You think me rude,  
But I would just stand and stare._

_I'd like to make myself believe,  
That Planet Earth turns slowly.  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,  
'Cause everything is never as it seems._

_'Cause I get a thousand hugs,  
From ten thousand lightning bugs.  
As they try to teach me how to dance,  
A foxtrot above my head,  
A sockhop beneath my bed.  
The disco ball is just hanging by a thread (thread, thread)._

_I'd like to make myself believe,  
That Planet Earth turns slowly.  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,  
'Cause everything is never as it seems. Leave my door open just a crack (please take me away from here),  
'Cause I feel like such an insomniac (please take me away from here).  
Why do I tire of counting sheep? (please take me away from here)  
When I'm far too tired to fall asleep._

_To ten million fireflies,  
I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes.  
I got misty eyes as they said farewell (said farewell),  
But I know where several are.  
If my dreams get real bizarre,  
'Cause I saved a few and I keep them in a jar._

_I'd like to make myself believe,  
That Planet Earth turns slowly.  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,  
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)._

_I'd like to make myself believe,  
That Planet Earth turns slowly.  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,  
'Cause everything is never as it seems (when I fall asleep)._

_I'd like to make myself believe,  
That Planet Earth turns slowly.  
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep,  
Because my dreams are bursting at the seams._

Donny turns off the radio and the car and then, sits himself down on the back of the van and curled himself up in a little ball and started crying. The tears were coming up towards his face and wiped them away from him. He sniffled two times and sighed heavily. Then, he looked at the other side of the van and sees a little gift that said, 'To: Donny, from: Mikey.' Donny didn't know that Mikey had a gift for him and then, when he opened it, he gasps and saw two headsets in order to keep up with his IT Tech support job, in case one doesn't work.

That made Donny's heart warm and he said, "Thank you, Mikey."

* * *

(A.N.: Wolf Mystic, guess which one of your favorite songs has made it to the chapter.

* * *

Raph has been sulking in his room, because of Mikey's death and feels really bad about hurting his feelings. He sighed heavily and got out of his bed and went towards Mikey's room. He still sees his brother's dead body laying around there and closed his eyes. When he opened them, his eyes got all misty and sat down on his bed, lowered his head and then started crying.

When he looked up, he sees his iPod laying there. He knew Mikey loves his iPod and when he looked at the back of it, the label reads, 'iCowabunga'. He laughs softly and sees that sign there. Then, he puts on his earsets and played a little song that Mikey rates as his favorite.

_Do you know what's worth fighting for?_

_When it's not worth dying for?  
Does it take your breath away  
And you feel yourself suffocating?  
Does the pain weigh out the pride?  
And you look for a place to hide?  
Did someone break your heart inside?  
You're in ruins _

_One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms  
Give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky,  
You and I _

_When you're at the end of the road  
And you lost all sense of control  
And your thoughts have taken their toll  
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul  
Your faith walks on broken glass  
And the hangover doesn't pass  
Nothing's ever built to last  
You're in ruins _

_One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms  
Give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky,  
You and I _

_Did you try to live on your own  
When you burned down the house and home?  
Did you stand too close to the fire?  
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone_

_When it's time to live and let die  
And you can't get another try  
Something inside this heart has died  
You're in ruins _

_One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms  
Give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky_

One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms  
Give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky,  
You and I

Raph shuts off Mikey's iPod and lets out a lone tear and said, "I miss you, Mikey. And I'm sorry... for everything."

* * *

A few hours later, Leo back to Mikey's room and puts his drawing back on his treasure box and it will be kept as a constant reminder of why he feels that way when Leo left for Central America.

He sees his orange bandana lying on the ground and didn't know why he took it off. He looked at it and asked, "Why did you take off your bandana, little brother? Why?"

The tears were starting flow in Leo's brown eyes and then, he sat down on his brother's bed and started crying. He was definitely feeling miserable knowing that he can't see his brother again; he couldn't hear his jokes, his laugh and see his face everyday. It just felt as if Leo is afraid that he would forget about Mikey, but he knows he never will, because in every adventure they've been in, Mikey is always there.

Leo sighed heavily and accidently pressed the button on a CD Player remote and then, it played a song that Leo heard for the first time.

_Another day has gone  
I'm still all alone  
How could this be  
You're not here with me  
You never said goodbye  
Someone tell me why  
Did you have to go  
And leave my world so cold_

_Everyday I sit and ask myself  
How did love slip away  
Something whispers in my ear and says  
That you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though you're far away  
I am here to stay  
_

_But you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though we're far apart  
You're always in my heart  
But you are not alone_

_'Lone, 'lone  
Why, 'lone_

_Just the other night  
I thought I heard you cry  
Asking me to come  
And hold you in my arms  
I can hear your prayers  
Your burdens I will bear  
But first I need your hand  
Then forever can begin_

_Everyday I sit and ask myself  
How did love slip away  
Something whispers in my ear and says  
That you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though you're far away  
I am here to stay_

_For you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though we're far apart  
You're always in my heart  
For you are not alone_

_Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'  
And girl you know that I'll be there  
I'll be there_

_You are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though you're far away  
I am here to stay  
For you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though we're far apart  
You're always in my heart_

_For you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though you're far away  
I am here to stay_

_For you are not alone  
For I am here with you  
Though we're far apart  
You're always in my heart_

_For you are not alone..._

As soon as the song fades, Leo shut it off and didn't know that Mikey could feel like this before. He listened to that song before, but didn't know that it was Mikey playing it. He sighed heavily and knew that Mikey felt this way, deep inside there was isolation since he departed to Central America.

Then, he went back inside his treasure box, opened it up and saw his drawing and on the bottom of it, it says, 'I Am Alone' and that brought tears into Leo's eyes, knowing that Mikey felt like he was in a depressing state in his life.

He hid his face away hoping that no one sees him cry and he started sobbing softly and let out a few choked sobs at the same time. It just made him feel really bad that Mikey didn't ask him why he was hurting and that really hurt his heart to know that Mikey feels this way when he wasn't around.

He sniffled a few times and then, two tears fell down from his face and whispered, "You are not alone, little brother. I'm here for you."

Then, Leo sees Raph and Donny there in Mikey's room and came in with him. They looked at Mikey's drawing and that also got both of them very emotional.

"I didn't know Mikey felt like this." Raph said.

"I didn't know he could draw very good." Leo replied.

"I guess that's how we felt at times when you were gone, Leo." Donny said.

"Guys, I'm here. I wish I could've told him that everything will be okay and he would be back to his old self again."

"Don't blame yourself, Leo. All of us should take responsiblity for it. We should've gave Mikey some comforting before he died." Raph said.

"I agree highly."

Then, the turtles came together and gave each other a group hug and they all cried together, because they missed Mikey so much. Splinter looked around and when he passed Mikey's room, he sees Leo, Raph and Donny together, just embracing each other. It left him a tear on his face that Mikey's death finally brought them together.

"You got room for one more?"

Then, they looked around and saw Splinter standing there and they all replied, "Yes, sensei."

He came in and then, hugged his sons along with them. He whispered, "I love you all."

"We love you too, Master Splinter."

"We're gonna miss Michaelangelo."

"Yes, we will. We will miss him very much." Donny said.

* * *

Well, there are the three songs here. The first one is "Fireflies" from Owl City (love that song), "21 Guns" from Green Day (of course) and the last one is "You Are Not Alone" from Michael Jackson. (Third one, long live the King of Pop! For Michael Jackson fans everywhere!)

This chapter (the fic also) is inspired by Tera Hunter's fic, "No Father Should Have to Choose", so I have to give mad props on that one. Hope you like it. Wolf Mystic, hope you like this chapter also! Well, please read and review and there's gonna be a funeral for Mikey soon. See ya then!

Animation Universe 2005, signing out!


	8. Broken

I'm back with a bang! Can't believe I'm nearing the end of this fic. Hopefully, you guys like it.

* * *

Chapter 8: Broken

Splinter has been walking around the lair for some time and is still grieving about Michaelangelo's loss. It's been a very painful situation for him to deal with, because he misses his jokes, his laughter and his goofy nature. Even though he's pretty much annoyed by his personality, he still misses him.

"You okay, sensei?"

Splinter turned around quickly and looks at Leonardo, looking concerned. He repsonds, "Yes, Leonardo."

He can see right through him, like he's missing Mikey so much. Leo sighed and said, "It's okay, master. I miss him too."

Splinter sighed heavily and looks at Leo and told him, "It's just so hard to think about everything else, because when I look around, I can see him everywhere."

Leo looked at him with much concern and realizes that he misses Mikey so badly, it's just difficult for him to focus on everything else. Leo is still in grieving, because he felt like he wanted to blame himself for not helping Mikey with his depression mode. He covered his face and sighed heavily, to keep his master from seeing his eyes.

"Leonardo?"

"Yes, master?"

"Are you all right?"

Leo didn't want to see his tears coming out, so he still covered his face and nodded at him. Splinter could see something behind his eyes, and knew that it was just a tear that's starting to shed. Splinter came to him and comforted him by a hug.

Leo embraced it back and felt like he needed one as well. He uncovered his eyes and his brown eyes were closed and whispered, "I just still feel like it's all my fault, master. If I couldn't have helped him out, maybe he wouldn't have..."

"Leonardo, don't say that. There was nothing that you could was nothing that any of us could do about it. We cannot change the past. You cannot blame yourself for whatever happened."

"I know, sensei. But, it still feels that way. I just-- I just miss him, that's all."

"I know you do."

Leo hugged Splinter and he hugged him back and there was a tear coming out of Leo's eyes and it was open for the first time. Then, he let go and Splinter sees a tear coming out of Leo's eye. He sighed heavily and said, "I'll be in my room if you need me."

"Of course, my son."

Leo walked away because he knew he didn't want his master to see him cry, but Splinter saw it. He can sense that he was missing Mikey very much, which made Splinter's eyes glisten.

Raph came out of nowhere and felt extremely guilty about everything that happened before Mikey died. He went in behind Splinter and said, "I wish I could've said all these things to him, then this wouldn't be happening. How could I be so stupid? Telling him that I wish he could die, and then he actually took his life away. I am such an idiot!"

Then, Raph closed his eyes, balled his fists and threw his sai on the floor and lowered his head down. Then, he looked up at Splinter and said, "I wish I would take my own life away!"

"Raphael! Don't say that!" Splinter exclaimed.

"But it's the truth, master! How could I live with myself?! How would I be so careless?! I WISH I WOULD KILL MYSELF AND DIE!!!"

Then, Splinter grabbed him and slapped Raph in the face, harder and shouted, "RAPHAEL, SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!"

"OWWWW!!!!"

Then, Splinter hugged him tightly and apologized to him. He explained to Raph, "I didn't mean to do that, but you were getting hysterical!"

"Thanks, master. Even though it really hurt."

"I can understand you are upset. So am I, but you cannot blame youself for what happened. There was nothing you could do to change it. The fact is, if Michaelangelo was here, would you forgive him?"

Raph's eyes were covered with tears and said, with his voice cracking, "Yes, master. I would forgive him and tell him that I love him....so much. And that I would never do anything to hurt him."

Splinter smiled and said, "Spoken like a true brother."

"I'm supposed to set a good example and I guess I haven't put my best efforts in it."

"But at least you're trying. That's what matters, Raphael. You have a good heart. You just sometimes don't show it."

"I can try my hardest, master."

"I know you will. Sorry if I slapped you in the face, my son."

"It's okay. I know you would never do that. Just don't do that again."

"Sorry, but it was the only way to snap you out of it."

"I guess that worked."

* * *

Several hours later, Splinter walked to Mikey's room and hears someone crying in there. When he opened the door, he sees Donatello laying in Mikey's bed, crying softly. He can tell that he misses his brother so badly, and he turned on the lights so he could see.

"Donatello?"

Donny's eyes opened and he sees Splinter standing there. He was surpsied that he's behind him and wipes his tears away quickly. Donny asked, "What are you doing here, Master Splinter?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Splinter answered.

"Just....checking on his bed."

Then, he looks around his bed, turns back at Splinter and said, "Looks good."

Splinter could see it in his eyes. He folded his arms and asked, "You miss him, huh?"

Donny tried to come up with an excuse, but he saw Splinter's eyes as a sign that wants him to be honest and then, Donny sighed heavily and said, "Yes, Master Splinter. I do."

"Tell me your feelings, my son."

"It's just that...I just wish that I would tell him everything was okay and that I'm here for him and I didn't. I wanted to talk to him if he ever needs me to talk to him, but I didn't. I tried everything that I could do and now it's too late. I'm just-- I'm just failure as a brother."

"Do not say that, Donatello. You are a good brother."

"You're just saying that."

"No, it is true. You just have many things on your mind."

"I know, Splinter. I wish I would've done everything I could just to show Mikey that I'm here for him."

"Do not blame yourself, Donatello. You love your brother, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you care for him?"

"Always."

"Are you always there for him?"

"Of course."

"Then, it shows that you are a good brother, no matter what you do."

Donny sighs heavily and then, lets out one tear on his eye and then, it drops on the floor and then, he looked at Splinter, stands up and whispered, "Thank you."

"Michaelangelo has done me proud and you all have done him proud also."

Donny nodded his head and then, hugged Splinter. A few tears were falling through his eyes and then, told him, "I need some air."

"Take all the time you need."

Donny walked out of Mikey's room, leaving Splinter alone to look at it. He sighs heavily and thinks about everything about Mikey. Even though he sees him as a goofy person, he knew hat he was a joy to be around. Then, he looks around and sees his CD Player. Splinter didn't even plan to listen to what Mikey hears, but it just seemed like a good time to listen to what his favorite songs are. Then, he played this one track that seems to be his most favorite.

_Have you seen my Childhood?  
I'm searching for the world that I come from  
'Cause I've been looking around  
In the lost and found of my heart...  
No one understands me  
They view it as such strange eccentricities...  
'Cause I keep kidding around  
Like a child, but pardon me..._

_People say I'm not okay  
'Cause I love such elementary things...  
It's been my fate to compensate,  
for the Childhood  
I've never known..._

Splinter's eyes widened and became surprised that Mikey feels this way, because he's always such a happy-go-lucky, likeable turtle and it was hard to believe that this is what he feels when he's in his room, listening to that.

_Have you seen my Childhood?  
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth  
Like pirates in adventurous dreams,  
Of conquest and kings on the throne..._

_Before you judge me, try hard to love me,  
Look within your heart then ask,  
Have you seen my Childhood?_

As he listened to the song, Splinter could feel most of Mikey's feelings into the song and realized that it was when he feels mostly depressed when Leo went away to Central America for a full year and how he feels about growing up, like he doesn't want to leave his childhood behind.

_People say I'm strange that way  
'Cause I love such elementary things,  
It's been my fate to compensate,  
for the Childhood I've never known..._

_Have you seen my Childhood?  
I'm searching for that wonder in my youth  
Like fantastical stories to share  
The dreams I would dare, watch me fly..._

_Before you judge me, try hard to love me.  
The painful youth I've had_

Splinter's eyes became misty-eyed and there were tears shedding through and they fell through through the floor and he misses him dearly and wishes he could've comforted him before he died. And he did love him....like the son he's always loved and always will.

_Have you seen my Childhood..._

He looked up at the ceiling and whispered, tearfully, "It's in your heart. Know that I will always be in your heart, Michaelangelo.....and so will your brothers. I love you very much....my son."

* * *

The song (in case you didn't know) is "Childhood" from (you're gonna scream if you hear this) Michael Jackson. In case you haven't heard of it, watch 'Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home' or get it on DVD. Anyways, this song has a connection for Mikey, so I hope you guys like it. The next chapter is Mikey's funeral. Stay tuned!


	9. Caring

Here's Mikey's funeral. Hope you guys like it!

* * *

Chapter 9: Caring

A week later, Splinter, Raphael, Leonardo and Donatello gathered together to bury Michaelangelo and while they were doing that, Casey and April stopped by and paid their respects to him. Raph looked at them and he embraced both of them.

"Glad you guys could make it." Raph said.

"Couldn't miss it, Raph." Casey said.

"Yeah, I can't believe that Mikey's really gone." April replied.

"It's been a tough week for most of us."

"Casey, April. Glad you could come by." Leo said.

"Thanks, Leo." April said.

"Hey, Leo. Doing okay?"

"I guess so. I'm trying to hold my composure, though."

"Of course."

"Nice of you guys to stop by." Donny said.

"Nice to see you, too."

"So, what's was wrong with Mikey?" asked Casey.

Leo sighed heavily and said, "How do I put this? Mikey was feeling depressed for a while and he feels as if me going away has been a drag for him. We tried to talk to him, but it just feels as if we could've done something to comfort him. We didn't even understand it in time."

"Wish you guys could've, huh?" asked Casey.

"Yeah. Casey."

"Where's Splinter?" asked April.

"He's getting ready."

Then, Splinter walked towards the kitchen and sees Casey and April in. April came to him and hugged him in comfort. Splinter embraced the hug also and told him, "Glad you could come, Miss O'Neil."

"Glad I'm here too, Splinter. Are you holding up okay?"

"I'm trying."

Several minutes later, everyone was sitting down to start Mikey's funeral. Splinter came in front of them, cleared his throat and said, "We are gathered here today and I would like to thank you for homoring the death of my son, Michaelangelo. He's been a friend, a hero and most of all, a son and a brother to us all. I know at times, he can be a little rambunctious and goofy, he's always bringing everyone so much joy and sense of humor. There is no one else that would be filled with such happiness except for Michaelangelo and he has been a very good son, a good brother and a great friend."

Then, Splinter asked Leo to say his thoughts about Mikey. He got up and stood on the center and tries to keep himself from crying. He clears his throat and said, "Well, words can't describe how I feel about Mikey. He's always the coolest, funniest and sometimes joyful person I know to hang out with, but he can be a little difficult to focus on his training, but whenever we are out battling evil, he always come in full swinging with his nun-chuks. Those are his favorite weapon. His guilty pleasure is pretty much pizza and I can't blame him. He would always get slice after slice after slice after slice. But his most guilty pleasure is skateboarding. Mikey is highly skilled with skating and he's like one of these pros that we all hear about and Mikey always masters it. I always call him 'Little Brother', because he was the fourth brother and he's reliable to be around. I love him so much and I wish he wouldn't have taken his life away. May the spirit be with you, Mikey....always. Thank you."

Most of them were a little emotional over Leo's speech and then, Donny came next and he got misty-eyed. He said, "What can I say? As Leo said, Mikey's a little difficult, but he's always easy to be around....almost. Me and Mikey are the youngest out of Leo and Raph and we always look up to both of them, but Mikey looks up to both Leo and Raph the most. Me, I kinda look up to Leo. Both of our guilty pleasures are video games. Mikey tries hard to beat me in every game we can think of, but I always come full swinging. Even though I beat him numerous times, he always laughs about it. He always gets on my nerves, but underneath that, he's just a good guy and he's always cool to be around. I just don't know how our lives will be without him, but wherever he is, he'll be looking down on us, smiling. We always brought our love to him, and we'll feel it too. Thank you."

Raph was moved by Donny's speech and he went next. Despite the fact that he said some things to him before he died, he feels like he owe it to Mikey. He said, "Mikey is an awesome guy to be around and I still can't believe that he's gone. I'm still numb and guilty by all the things that I said to him and it made me feel really bad. If I could go back in time to change everything, I could, but I can't do that. Life doesn't work like that. I never meant to hurt my little bro and I love him so much. Even though, Mikey gets on my case or even everything to make me snap, I know he does it with a lot of humor in it. If you're listening, I'm really sorry, Mikey...for everything. And I love you. I always have and I always will."

A few hours later, Splinter and April helped carry Mikey's dead body into Leo's old hope chest and decided to bury him through the sewers that Mikey used to skate in.

Then, they went into this huge space where there's a lot of water there. Leo became skeptical about burying Mikey there and asked Splinter, "Are you sure we couldn't bury him in the other parts of the sewer? I mean, it's like, a hundered feet of water."

"I know it's complicated, but we have to bury him. You know your brother skates through this edge and never misses."

Leo sighs and said, "That's true."

Then, they both agreed that they can bury Mikey's body in the water and they grabbed the hope chest and threw it down there. The box made a big splash and it came into the water. Leo and Splinter looked down and saw the box floating across the sewer and it carried the chest into the other side of the sewer.

They looked at each other and Leo said, "I'm gonna miss him."

"So will I, my son. But at least we still have each other." Splinter said.

"And Mikey will be in our hearts, right?"

"He always will."

* * *

Had to think of something to bury Mikey. Hope you like it. Stay tuned for the final chapter!


	10. Believe

I'm gonna make more spiritual and yes, it's a happy ending. Enjoy!!

* * *

Chapter 10: Believe

It's been almost two weeks since Mikey died and most of the turtles and Splinter are still in grieveing over Mikey's loss. It's like they can't feel his presence anymore, and it's like they lost someone dear to them, who's always the glue that holds everyone together and they lost that person.

Leo is still feeling pretty guilty over what could've happened and how he could've helped Mikey get over his depression and resentment, but instead, he just didn't have the heart to tell his brother about it. He could've at least gave him some comfort or lack therof. His heart still feels broken and feels heavy and empty inside and it couldn't fill up anymore.

He looks at himself in the mirror and asked, "How do I live with myself?"

Tears were flowing through his face and it dropped through the floor and then, he covered his eyes and started crying. He uncovered his eyes and looked at himself in the mirror, his tears coming down out of his eyes and feels his heart feeling a bit lonesome.

He whispered, Mikey....if you could hear me.....I would just tell you how sorry I am....for not....being there for you...like a real brother would."

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Leo."

Leo gasped silently and looked around to find out where that voice came from. He looked behind and didn't see a thing. He thought that it was something on his mind, but it wasn't. He sighed heavily and that he misses Mikey so much, he thinks he must be hearing things.

"Hey, I'm right here, dude."

That phrase 'dude' suddenly kicked in. He knew that voice and the term.

"Mikey?"

Then, there was a bright white light surrounding the lair and when Leo covered himself, there was an angelic-turtle figure with orange bandana and wings to match. He walked towards Leo and said, "You can open your eyes now, dude."

Leo opened his eyes and gasped silently. He couldn't believe what he saw. He saw...his brother.

"Mikey."

Mikey chuckled and said, "It's okay, dude. It's only me."

Leo kept gasping silent and couldn't believe his eyes. He whispered, "I think you were...."

"Yeah, I am. Seeing you guys sad about missing me just made want to check in on you."

Leo grabbed Mikey tightly and then, started crying on his shoulders. Mikey hugged him also, but then made a little facial expression like he was missing him too much. He patted him and said, "It's okay, Leo."

"No, it's not okay! This is all my fault, Mikey! I should've told you that everything would be okay while you were depressed. It wouldn't have happened if you would've stayed longer. I'm just--just a terrible brother."

"You're not a terrible brother, Leo. I know you. You're always so hard on yourself when you know every situation isn't your fault. You're just trying and that's important."

Tears were forming on Leo's face and said, "But, Mikey...it's still my fault that you're gone. I'll never forgive myself."

Mikey puts his hand on Leo's shoulder and said, "You will."

"Can I forgive you?"

"Don't I always forgive you?"

Leo stood up and got into Mikey and hugged him tightly. Tears were still running down his cheeks as he embraced him. Suddenly, he lets go and looks at Mikey in the eyes and said, "It's been hard without you."

"I'll always be with you, Leo."

Suddenly, Raph comes out of nowhere with all the brightness in the lair, but became surprised that it was an angel. He looks closer and that angel was holding num-chucks. It could only mean one thing....

"Mikey!"

Mikey and Leo turned around and saw Raph standing there. Mikey looks at him and said, "Hey, Raph."

Without question, Raph came over to him and hugged him hardly and with tears coming down his face. He looked at him and said, "Mikey, I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry about what I said. I never meant any of it and I would never say or do things to hurt you."

"Raph, can you let go? You're choking me." Mikey said, with a strained voice.

Raph quickly lets go and gives Mikey some air. He said, "Sorry, but I just feel so guilty about telling you that you should die."

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean any of it."

"I've been such a bad brother to you before you died and I just want to say how sorry I am for being such a jerk to you."

"Showing a sing of remorse, eh, Raph?" Leo asked.

"Don't push it, Leo."

"Just like old times."

"Mikey?"

Then, Mikey turned around and saw Donny standing there, looking shocked. He dropped his notebook and ran towards him, giving him a big hug. There were tears shedding through his face as he embraced him deeply. He lets go and told him, "I have missed you, Mikey."

"Same here. I've been looking out for you guys up there."

"It just wouldn't be the same without you."

"You guys still have each other, right?"

"That's true, but it's not complete without you."

"I will always be with you and you guys have to believe that I will always be here, even if you can't see me."

Donny covered his eyes and starts breaking down in tears, to know that he misses Mikey so terribly. Mikey understands his feelings and puts his hand on his shoulder. Donny looks at him and sees Mikey's blue eyes. It gave him a sign that Donny will believe that his spirit will be with him, always.

Donny smiled and told him, "I always think you about you and every little moments you do that sometimes, makes me laugh or gets on my nerves, but with a little humor in it. That's the one thing I miss about you. Always making me laugh when I need it."

"It'll always stay with you, no matter what."

All of a sudden, Splinter comes by and sees Mikey for the first time. He whispered, "Michaelangelo...."

Mikey turns around and sees his master standing there. He waves at him and said, "Hey, sensei."

Mikey walks over to him and then, Splinter stood there, surprised and in emotions that Mikey's there. He went over to him and hugged him tightly. He said, "My heart has been missing you."

"I've been missing you a lot."

"It has been very difficult without you around, my son. Your joy, jokes and everything about you are the ones that I miss most."

Splinter has gotten a little teary-eyed to know that Mikey is standing there and Mikey told him, "I just wanted to say 'thank you' for everything that you have done for me and everything else. You're like an inspiration to me and you're the most coolest person that I'll ever have. All I can say is, thank you for everything you brought into my life."

"You're very welcome. I am so grateful to have you as my son."

"I'm also thankful to have you as my master....and my father."

"I am most grateful for all of you...for being such gifts into the world."

"We're your only gifts, master." Donny said.

Mikey sighed and said, "Well, I have to go."

"Already?"

"Do you have to?"

"Yeah, but I'll be waiting for you guys. I'll continue to watch over you until we see each other again."

"We will."

Then, the wind starts blowing and Mikey rose up from the air and slowly goes back up to heaven. He looked down and waved goodbye to his brothers and Splinter. They did the same thing and all of the bright lights fade away as Mikey disappears. They were still missing Mikey, but at least he will be with them...in their hearts.

Splinter starts smiling and looks at his three boys and said, "I love you all, my sons."

"We love you too, master." they said, in unison.

The turtles departed to their rooms and Splinter sighed heavily, but this time, his heart was starting to get full. He looks up at the ceiling and whispers, "You will be missed, but you will never be forgotten. Farewell....my son."

* * *

**THE END**

Well, that's that! Hope you guys like this story. Thank you guys so much for reviewing this story. Leave me some reviews and tell me what you think! Happy 25th Anniversary, TMNT!!

The CGI TMNT movie ROCKS!!!


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